I made a new song yesterday.
It's called "In morning".
You can listen to it here:
http://www.myspace.com/superjoyluck
I usually make music whenever I need to vent. I've been needing to vent a lot lately; after this, I feel much better. Writing also helps me get things off my chest, but writing can never be as raw as a real voice.
I made the beat in Garageband. I didn't compose any of the musical bits; Garageband simply allows one to arrange loops of prerecorded music in the desired fashion. I think I used 3 or 4 drum loops and then 3 or 4 vibraphone loops to make this beat. (The loops come with Garageband, like a little "loop library". You just move them around on screen and decide how it should line up.) I'm still learning a lot about what I can and can't get away with in terms of repetition, simplicity, length, etc. But if you listen to the songs I've made previously, there is a definite progression. I'm getting more comfortable.
I also did something weird, in that I tried to do a chorus, but ended up making four different choruses, that all kinda suck. I actually wrote the choruses out, in an attempt to be all master planner and stuff. Heh. My singing is still terrible, I'll admit, but is it at least more bearable?
As far as the rapping, I pretty much winged it. What I have done in the past is actually write out lyrics, pages of them. This nets one "clever" rhymes at the expense of saying things one otherwise would never say--for proof, check out my other songs, "Friends" and "10 Feet Away". The majority of content in those songs was only generated so it could be a "cool" rap. And it's not even that cool.
So for "In morning" I decided I wasn't going to write any lyrics. This is a blessing, and a curse. A blessing because it lifts that stupid curtain of "I'll say that 'cause it rhymes" and a curse because freestyling (i.e. to ad lib) a rap is rather difficult. I'm getting better, but it's still extremely challenging.
Some insight: I say Xbox in what I believe is the second verse. Why I said it? I was recording and I thought, "Oh crap, I'm out of things to say!" so I did a desperate search of the room, and saw the Xbox. So I started rapping about Xbox.
Then I repeat myself a few times, quite a few actually. That's another problem with freestyling: you can get kinda stuck on certain phrases, as if they're comfort zones or something. I said "too many instances" in both the first and second verses. That bugs me.
But, another problem with freestyling is if you like 70% of it, you don't really want to do any more. Because you could try and write it out, clean it up a little, and rerecord it, but then it will come across as forced. At least I always thought so. And then if you try a new freestyle, you end up losing a bunch of good material.
So what actually came out as the "finished" product is about 70% was good as I wanted it to be, because I freestyled. It's irritating, but acceptable--I'm just doing this to vent, after all.
Speaking of that, the three songs I've made so far where I actually rap--"Darkside" is an instrumental I made in 2004, and threw up on the Myspace for fun--"In morning" is the most truthful, but all three--"In morning" + "Friends" + "10 Feet Away"--all have a common theme--relationships, whether they be friendships or something more involved.
Its ultimately interesting because while the three songs seem so similar, they represent three different instances in which I put myself in the same problem--they are not three songs concerning one experience; they are three songs concerning a number of experiences.
So in doing these I keep revealing to myself that I put myself in the same situation every time, and act surprised when I get the same results. The path to change is change, not repetition of failed experiments.
And so, maybe after three songs and several years, I'm ready to be over my insecurities. I'm ready to try something new.
Only problem is, if everything is going well, I probably won't make any more songs.
Development of musical skill through suffering just seems so proper.
But hey, if misery can work, happiness can too.
David Kline
